I was feeling pretty upset today..
And somehow somehow, I started thinking about you..
Thinking about you trying to get out of it,
Trying to get out of the mess that I ..created..
The thoughts of no longer having you around made me feel really sad for awhile,
And I kinda of teared in class (really embarrassing because everyone saw)
Then the tears started flowing non-stop and I didn’t know what to do,
So I rushed to the toilet..
And suddenly I realize that the feelings must be real,
Or else I won’t be feeling so upset I guess.
And the thought of it,
Made me smiled.
In the resource room with 03 people heehee! =p
I do have work to do though, such as the 3 article reviews, testimonial and maths tutorial 1, which I havnt complete yet..but im just..so lazy to get started! Ahhhhh think im gonna take forever to finish everything again! >.<
I have been going to the swing lately!^^ Swinging kinda of swing out all the moody things in me and it kinda of helps me..to really think about what’s on my mind and figure out a solution and come out with a proper comfort for myself!^^ I ♥ swing!^^
Whee and im going out with moni this Sunday!^^ maybe we can do a bit and discuss about what to write about our testimonial since we have the similar records hahahaha..seems like there’s a lot of things to prepare for graduation! Sighhhhh!
Blah blah blah im really boredddd! I hate Friday’s timetable..it’s like no lesson until 1..and suddenly become super busy bcos I have to rush for things..D=
I know people have been talking about it and rumours have been spreading around. Ohhh well. I couldn’t be bothered actually. When people ask me about my previous one, I don’t really know where to start..talking about it. It ended very abruptly, because I feel the need to get out from it as soon as possible. I need to live a happy, cheerful life of my own and those problems are really distracting. I do have a choice to..not think about them at all, but subconsciously, it has always been on my mind and it hurts when I think about them. I try not to talk and think about it, because it’s pretty unpleasant and I really need to focus on my priorities, especially when I need to graduate this year. Thinking about it makes me lose hope about the future, lose hope in everything..and I just wish that time will heal everything.
Im not in the mood to start a new one though. Let’s just see how things go!
Walalalala! Im feeling bored at home haha! But im lazy to move around too! =p
Slowly recovering from my post-trip syndrome haha! Feels much better now! But when I look at the photos, staying at Vietnam just feels like, yesterday! But at least I don’t feel that sad andddd..want to cry anymore hahahaha!
I realized that my class is..i hope 03 people won’t get offended or something! I’m fine with every one of them actually, since they are really nice and funny people! Just that when they all sit together, the rowdy-ness came out and the things they chat about are mostly the things i dont really know..so i don’t know what to comment..so I’ll be keeping quiet most of the time..ohh well!
Going for dinner with my Vietnam gang and Carol later! I feel really excited and can’t wait to see them soon! Okay a bit lame since I saw them like..only yesterday..=p hmm but that shows how awesome and close they are in my heart! =p teehee! And moni don’t get jealous! =p
Hurhur maybe I go watch TV first! And MUST FORCE myself to complete the 3 articles by SUNDAYYYYYY!
Here comes the days when I get disappointed over myself, for my sloppiness, for always being late for school, for always forgetting the things I’m supposed to do. I wasn’t like this before. I used to be very punctual to school, I used to be very neat, I used to be a very determined girl who always knows what to do, who will stay to my goals no matter how hard things get, and I will do everything to make sure that I do well in things that are deemed important to me, no matter what it takes. And the old me became non-existent, it just went *poof*, and disappeared like it never happened. When I look at myself, it feels like, the older I get, the stupider I get. I miss the old me. Even though the old me had very little friends, don’t really know how to socialize and make friends, her spirits and her will to become better is worth respecting, I guess.
Now I have become like, a sloppy dude who always tell myself not to take things to hard, who never bothers to give in my best in whatever I do, who always leave the exam hall in regrets because she didn’t bother to study properly. I still remember the sec 2 days where I mugged for the weekly quizzes. I will memorize everything, make sure I understand every single thing on the notes, and clarify every doubt with my teachers. And I just don’t do the same anymore.
I hate it when people speaks to me in the ‘just admit that this is the limit of your ability, don’t bother try harder anymore’ tone, I get mad and I want to prove them wrong; I want to tell them that I used to be good in whatever I do, I want them to witness that I am able to achieve something, just like how I used to; that I can amaze them with my ability and made them feel ashamed for looking down on me. But somehow, I just can’t prove them wrong anymore, because the will to achieve something higher, the competitiveness in me to challenge someone else, it’s just not there anymore, and it’s nowhere to be found.
Was reading the comments posted on brightsparks forum just now, and I've kinda of made up my mind about where I want to study!^^ I think I want to study ACCOUNTANCY @ NANYANG BUSINESS SCHOOL!^^ I'm not planning to go SMU actually, even though SMU seems to have a better career perspective haha.
I guess I'm still adapting a nerdy way of studying haha..Sorry I cant help it! =p And I kinda of realise that I'm not actually a very..outgoing person, even though I like to hang out with my friends pretty often..=DDD A lot of times i like to think through things in my head, instead of speaking them out. And sometimes, I can get..uncomfortable talking in front of certain people because I'm scared that they'll laugh at my thoughts, and sometimes I just have problems trying to put them into words, because I'm still think as im talking.. I like to think a lot actually, and it gets a bit scary at times, because I get too engrossed into thinking stuffs, that I completely lost track of what's happening around me..=/
Oh my that's a very long paragraph hahaha..
And I cant wait to go NTU soon hahahaha! I cant wait to make more friends (I hope they are nice!^^)..and i secretly hope that 402 girls will study the same course as me, even though i know they wont..D= because I just feel so happy and so comfortable with them!^^ I wonder where serene will go though, since she's planning to study accountancy too. Oh and heehao also..it'll be quite far for him if he studies at NTU or NUS, but again, he can stay at the hostel haha..
I just applied to Changi Airport Group scholarship, planning to submit the applications for SIA open scholarship and Singapore Tourism Board scholarship tomorrow haha..I like dealing with travelling related stuffs! It makes me happy heehee..=D i think the company/government board's customers will be a bunch of nice people since majority of them are on holidays..=DDD maybe i can get discounts on airplane tickets if i join SIA heh heh..=p i cant wait to go for my dream holidays^^
i find you as one of the nicest ppl to talk to and i hope that we can always be friends..
or maybe im just the only one who find it this way..
Okay no more emo stuffs at the moment..=p I think I’ll delete all of them away when I feel better!☺
It has been quite a hilarious day! And heehao is very bad! He bullied a lot of ppl today..and his laughter is super funny HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..
And I still have heidi’s biscuits with me in my bag hahaha..wonder what kind of stuff will the guys come out with to bluff her..they are all having physics lesson now haha..